Magnet ABANDONED
by Dpreukssiya
Summary: "I wanted to make him scream. I wanted to make him moan. I wanted to hate him." They where opposite ends of the magnet. They where foils of each other, and sometimes love had unique methods of showing it... WARNING! mature themes, yaoi, kink, and BDSM.
1. The Beginning

**Me: well as promised i am going to be writing everyones present for christmas. I hope you all enjoy because i worked hard on this and i put lots of effort into it so please be kind to me because this is un-beta'd. I am looking for a beta, if any one wants to help me with that.**

**Grimmjow: MyDoll as much as she wishes doesn't own bleach, rape, kink, or uke ulquiorra.**

**Ulquiorra: ...**

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**Pairing: Ulquiorra X Grimmjow**

**Rating: Mature. I highly advise you turn away if you don't like mature themes...**

**Starting song: FMLYHM by Seether.**

"**You only realize what you've lost once you've lost it and everything is to late"**

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I pressed the fourths pale, lithe body firmly, aggressively against the wall, his head cracking into the pearl white tiles. My teeth gritting, blood pumping furiously through my course and aggressive veins.

"What? Say that again I dare you!" I growled out as i ground my knee into his upper thigh. Furry pumped, skittered, dominated my every thoughts as pulses of unexplained anger pumped, coursed, through me. Ulquiorra trapped beneath my body, his ragged breathing, eyes shut closed, only pushed my furry further. Sure i had always had a bad temper, but every thing ulquiorra did always, never without fail, caused my blood to boil. I realized here just now my current intentions with the emotionless espada, the espada that held his rank above me like a sword to my throat. My temper was past the point of reason.

I wanted to make him scream. I wanted to make him moan. I wanted to hate him.

I wanted to watch that thick, crimson, bittersweet blood pool to the floor beneath him...

Snarling, I punched the wall, missing his head by a mere inch. White tile crunched beneath my fist as porcelain shards invaded my skin, and ripped the flesh, as cracked tile pieces fell to the floor. Grimacing at the impact slightly, furry, adrenaline masked the pain, as i ground my fist further into the wall. Apathetic green eyes opened slowly and glared hard at me, observing, calculating the extent of my anger.

"You heard me, I believe I didn't stutter" he spoke almost immediately, his monotone voice clear, as he brought an icy hand to my open chest and pushed ",Get off " he demanded, pushing back against my chest with more effort.

"Fuck you!" I snarled. After all this shit, he had unknowingly caused me emotional turmoil, he was demanding of me? I almost laughed. Had he truly not realized to what extent he had fucked with my head? When every waking moment of every day i spent thinking, scowling, pondering his attitude, thinking, devising ways to break that composure of his. Him? Him? Him? Why was his emotionless front affecting, and fucking with my head so much? I wanted him to feel humiliated, dead, ashamed, I wanted to release all this pent up emotion on him, maybe then he'd understand what 'The heart' was. I wanted to be alive and in control. Sparks of excitement ran down my spine as images of the curta begging me to stop as i mercilessly pounded into him, flooded my mind. I wanted complete control over the man, whether he wanted it or not. Maybe i would enjoy myself after all.

"Don't you get it?" My hands grew eager, twitching in anticipation, i wanted him to break. My hands placed themselves over ulquiorra's chest, my fingers teasing, rubbing the curta's clothed nipples roughly. I wanted hear a reaction, a noise of some sort slip from his mismatched lips. I rubbed the now hard nub, beneath his espada jacket, harder, while i removed my other hand from the walls grip. Blood dripped, down my knuckles and trickled down my fingers, it would heal soon though. Ulquiorra gasped slightly and shut his eyes while turning his head sideways, I assumed he didn't want to give me the pleasure of hearing his voice.

"If you don't give me what i want, I wont be gentle ulquiorra.." I spoke into the nape of his neck, before biting roughly into the pale flesh, drawing blood. My fingers played with the edge of his jacket, slipping beneath it and popping open two buttons, and ripping the rest with my cat like sharp nails. Lazily dragging them downwards to reveal the curta's seemingly perfect and blemish free fair skin. As i threw the invading article to the floor the curta's breathing increased slightly, his eye brows furrowing close. He didn't know how to react to situations like this. And that was when i heard it, a small almost plea escaped his lips. Don't... That breathy word... Who knew words could be so arousing? Oh how i would enjoy dirtying his clean innocent skin.

"Don't.." He almost pleaded, the words rushing straight to my already swollen erection. Placing to fingers to his lips i stroked them sensually before growling, There was no going back, and i knew that there would be no way to stop myself now. I crushed our lips together and kissed the man, who's eyes shot open before closing again, heavy lidded, he gasped into the kiss as i rolled my tongue over his bottom lip. Eliciting sweet gasps and sharp intakes of breath form the man with no emotions. I felt so empowered, so cocky for lack of better words. I wanted to hear more, to feel more... to ravish and completely dominate the fourth espada. My own eagerness was increasing dangerously quick, which was a bad thing considering i still wanted to tease my prey, and the foreplay had just begun. I bit his lip softly and almost lovingly before pulling away with a satisfied smirk smeared across my face.

"Do you like that ulqui...?" He shuddered a bit at the nickname and glared with intensity at me, his hollow green eyes that where still apathetic angered me for reasons only know to myself. After all i had already done ulquiorra was still putting up his emotionless front. I wanted to break him... I wanted him to scream... But a small portion of me also wanted to be gentle... To draw his emotions out. My hand wondered south, tracing the outline of his slight erection through his hakama. Maybe his body was acting against him? I would never know.

"Don't." He said a bit firmer, while trying to remove my intruding hand.

"why should i stop?" I questioned, faking a puzzled expression, "Why should I?" I nearly growled out and proceeded with my hands trip southwards. Slipping my hand beneath his hakama i began tugging it down just below his ass which was nice by the way. My hand wrapped around the base of his semi erection and pumped softly, before smearing my thumb across the slit.

"..Nnh.." The curta's voice was small and strained. He struggled with his facial expressions as well, trying his best not to give me the pleasure of hearing his voice or seeing his expressions. I pumped and pulled faster, and lightly squeezed his balls with my other hand, as i attached my lips to his neck and sucked the sweet tempting flesh there. Break break break my mind interjected and i saw his blank expression falter, the word repeated over and over in my head. That expression... that hollow icy stare...

"Break..." I said aloud, and something deep within me snapped. My resolve and my need to be kind and gentle with him dissolved completely. I yanked his hakama haphazardly of and threw it randomly, hastily. Ulquiorra's zampakto Clanged to floor as the cloth holding it to his hakama came undone, and pooled to floor beneath the fourths faire skinned legs. He would not experience euphoria from this at all. I wanted him to scream, I grinned as i looked into his closed eyes.

"Look at me" I ground my teeth together and my hand ceased its earlier actions. I grabbed him by his ebony locks, bringing his face a mere inches from my own. ",Look at me damnitt!"I threw his head into the earlier abused tiles, his head audibly cracking against the tiles. I could tell already he was going to try and be defiant till the very end. His composure would break... and i was hell bent on being the one to do it. My hand strayed into my own hakama, as ulquiorra let out a strained, straggled breath he had been holding in, and his eyes shot open, fear flickered in his eyes for a split second. My erection now free I let out a groan as I stroked myself lightly before lifting ulquiorra's leg.

"You... cant be serious..." He said quickly, rushed, almost panicked... almost... Positioning myself, the tip barely touching the ring of muscle. The curta espada finally showed emotion. Even though it was slight, panic was evident in his expression, his eyes slightly wide mouth agape... It was a shame really. He was attractive, every last bit of him, his skin, his hair, his scent... Was all intoxicating. It was such a shame really that things had come down to this pure act of sinful hatred, that mirrored my rationality, and i relished, even found pleasure in the mere thought of this forbidden act about to unfold.

"You cant..." He rushed, eyes scanning my face searching for any sign of remorse, even if it was the slightest hint. That slight simple expression that his face held pushed me over the edge quiet literally as i slammed into his body, Fully sheathing myself in one thrust. Ulquiorra's eyes widened further than i had ever seen before as he brought his hand to cover his mouth, biting into it and using it as a gag. A small sob ripped through his chest but never escaped his throat. I grinned and thrust harder and quicker into the smaller mans tight tight entrance that felt so good and I let a groan escape my lips. My cock was throbbing, pulsing begging for release as i increased my pace yet again. He quaked, and shook, occasionally he opened his mouth letting out silent screams, and whimpered. Here i was fully sheathed in the emotionless espada... i felt so dominant, so wonderfully in control over him... I thrust again, tearing the tight walls that sheathed me, ripping and protesting my intrusion. Blood collected and seeped out of the tight whole, and ran down his quacking standing legs.

His face was contorted into that of immense pain. His eyebrows where furrowed closely together, and he let go. All his pent up fear shook through him, and he sobbed, pleading me to stop, begging and screaming, clawing at my back roughly racking his nails down my back.

"P-please... please stop" He was truly letting go... His pleas only excited me further as pushed through his tight whole once more before i lolled my head backwards and thrust myself to completion. My salty semen, combined, mixed, melded together with the blood as the mixture dripped and soaked into the floor beneath the fourths now tarnished skin. To ride out my after sex high i thrust a few more times before pulling out completely, and grinning at the helpless man on the floor.

I wanted to make him scream. I wanted to make him moan. I wanted to hate him.

"Your a good fuck ulqui..." I spoke shakily from the intense orgasm as i watched the fourth fall to the floor, covering his face with his hands in shame.

"I... Loved you..." His trembling red lips quivered out as he shrank into the corner of the room, hugging his knees to his chest.

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**Me: that... was one of the hardest things i have ever had to write. Never the less i decided to post this early. I will consider making this into a multi chapter... if any one even reads my morbid creation...**

**Grimmjow: am i really that hot tempered? and is ulquiorra to ooc? **

**Me: we may never know grimmjow we may never know. Reviews are deeply appreciated. Merry christmas!**


	2. The Mistake

**Me: Well at first i had intended on making this a one shot... but by popular demand people are requesting otherwise, and thus... A NEW CHAPTER WAS BORN. I hope that this chappie lives up to everyones expectations, hopefully i will not upset any one. And to think that i would get 9 reviews on the first chapter? OMG thank you so much. It has boosted my writing confidence (by ten fold).**

**Ulquiorra: MyDoll, Does not own Bleach in any way shape or form.**

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**Pairings: Ulquiorra X Grimmjow**

**Rating: Mature. I highly suggest turning away if you don't like dark fics.**

**Starting song: Rape me By Nirvana.**

**Ending song: Love hurts by Incubus.**

**"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." ~ C.S Lewis**

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Love... was such a binding and ludicrous practice even possible for Espada?

Poisonous and sickening happiness dancing amongst the chests of the mighty arrancars, formed to be the ultimate solider, created for war and destruction. Such trivial matters that love presented to humans wasn't possible for killing mechanisms. That however didn't mean that i had no beliefs in emotion, after all my own temper proved that some human traits besides appearance where possible for us, however love?

Wide eyed I turned to face the trembling curta, his face covered by trembling hands, knees pressed protectively to his chest. Had I heard correctly, perhaps my mind had suffered damage beyond repair because of said espada. My fist clenched and un-clenched at my sides.

"STOP FUCKING WITH MY HEAD!" And before i could regret what spilled from my mouth, or what events had just taken place, i stormed out of his room, slamming the door marked with a giant 4 behind me with blistering strength. My head hit the door as my legs gave out and, I slid down the the marble door. Groaning in frustration my hand pulled at messy spiked teal locks, eyes slipping closed, I measured my breathing which was harsh, as if i had ran around Hueco Mundo all night. My head pounded, persistently bugging me. I figured being caught outside ulquiorra's room wasn't the greatest thing for me to be caught doing.

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Once inside the privacy of my own room, I picked up the nearest fragile object in my room and shattered it. Anger boiled through my veins, the fact that I was still thinking of the fourth, his words, his... everything, fueled the flame of anger running through my body. Yelling in pure frustration my hands both crunched into the wall closest to me, pain was not important at the moment. I was blinded by rage, about ready to tear the wall apart in front of me. Mitsy, my pet cat rubbed against my legs, threading, weaving between them as her purrs filled my ears, her expression seemed to hold meaning. _Stop_ I pictured her saying if she where human. My mood completely melted at the sight of my loyal cat, I had a soft spot for the creatures. Lifting her up gently, she nuzzled my face and settled between the crook of my neck, lounging myself on the couch in the room, Mitsy was the center of attention for the time being.

"Hey, Mitsy You'd be disappointed in me if you found out what just happened...," I sighed and allowed my body to relax before continuing, "Love is non existent for us right? Then why the hell would he... lie like that, to piss me off? He did a damn good job of that if thats what he was trying to accomplish. I did that out of hate, not out of _LOVE" _

_"Yet your heart pounds when you think of him, your heart rate beets widely like a delicious bird fluttering around his cage..." _Mitsy's beautifully eerie green eyes seemed to shine. Her eyes rolled back as she mewed stretching again and setting her tiny head on my shoulder, her glossy black fur soft and well taken care of.

"It beats of furry. Our hearts have no connection to each-other." I grit my teeth together audibly, the all to familiar image of the curta popped its way back into my mind, taunting me into furry.

_Love..._ My innermost thoughts pondered

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"And, because of recent events that have taken place, security will tighten. Patrols will increase my dear children" Aizen's smirk seemed to poison the tea cup his lips where currently pressed to.

_Blah blah fucking blah. _My mind translated. These pointless meetings held no interest to me. Apparently there where people who fully absorbed every pointless damn word that fell from the mockery of a god's lips, my gaze transfixed upon that person. Ulquiorra shifted under the weight of my gaze, his fingers silently thrumming against the table in mild annoyance. My eyes narrowed darkly. Pretending that nothing at all happened yesterday, his emotionless front fully repaired, or so it seemed anyway. Laying my head against the back of the chair, i continued my unwavering gaze.

"And thus that concludes today's meeting. You may leave."

That was all i needed to hear as i sprang from the seat i had been in for the past hour, Ungracefully hopping over the table I jogged after the fourth.

"Hey," My body had moved of its own accord, why i had approached him in the first place i had not even grasped. Ignoring my words he attempted to push past me.

"Hey!" I shouted again. His legs made an effort to move, as i stopped him and pushed him into the wall, he cringed slightly, memories of our last encounter flooding into his mind. My eyes softened a bit.

"Grimmjow, I am well aware of your presence, un-hand me. I have matters to attend to." Glancing at me for a split second, his eyes fell to the floor. And before my mind was able to processes my intentions, my lips connected with ulquiorra's. Softly, my lips caressed his own un-responsive lips, urging him to play. His eyes widened with shock, his hands found their way to my chest and pressed firmly, succeeding in separating our lips. A finger threateningly, traced its way from my collarbone to the adams apple of my throat. _cero eh? _My mind hazily processed. His eyes darkened.

"I wont hesitate..." His words where calloused, caustic, cold. Deciding to copy his words and throw them back at him i spoke grinning sadistically.

"I am well aware of that..." I hissed out before continuing, ", My my Ulqui... for some one who was so completely helpless yesterday, you sure have guts..."

His eyes widened, and he panicked, sending a kick to my nuts. I howled in pain doubling over and breathing in deeply. His kick hurt, like fuck.

"T-trash..." He muttered looking back at me, pleased he shunpo'd away.

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And here we where again. Same situation. How exactly it happened was beyond me. All that my mind had processed was the sight of the fourth's body lay beneath me as i towered over him, our eyes locked in a battle excluding words. His breathing was labored, his hand above his head rested on the black sheets that clothed his bed. His cheeks where slightly pinked. And our lips connected, dancing and caressing each other with a passion I had never felt before, his hands slid behind my neck as he pulled gently on my hair. I ran my tongue across his bottom lip, and without moments hesitation his mouth opened granting me access to his mouth, our tongues explored each others, melting, mixing, and completely concentrating on the other.

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_Szayel watched closely as the two espada fought, his eyes widened considerably at the sight of grimmjow's sudden advance, watched as they exchanged the lightest of kisses before ulquiorra pulled away and ended their kiss._

_"hohoho... How interesting..." The mad scientist mused, turning on his heels to begin his plan. Concocting a truth potion would be the best situation for the both of them. And Szayel's mind was made up. Two syringes later and a plan set in motion, the scientist sought out his targets, injecting the serum into both of the higher ranking espada, szayel swiftly executed his actions and disposed of the needle's. Pushing grimmjow and ulquiorra into a nearby room, and locked the door behind them. Grinning to himself szayel watched the events unfold through a device in his hand, all thanks to the bugged and wire-tapped room._

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Nothing else mattered as I continued my assault on the fourths mouth, he let out a shameless moan as our tongues slid passionately against each other. My hands slid underneath his uniform and popped of the buttons holding the fabric against his chest completely off, inch by inch of his milky skin was revealed as the fabric slid off ulquiorra's lithe shoulders. Fingers rolled, and stroked the fourths pale pink nipples as mewl after mewl slipped from his mismatched lips. His nipples hardening at every touch.

"Ulquiorra..." My mind was hazed with lust, furry and apathy had no hold over the pleasure and lusty actions taking place.

"Ulquiorra... Ulquiorra... Ulquiorra" I whispered while trailing feather light kisses down said espada's abdomen, tongue replaced the kisses, swirling and teasing the navel of his abdomen, my lusty hands ventured to undo ulquiorra's hakama, when his hands stopped my own.

"Let me..." His voice was small yet firm at the same time as he un-did the the cloth, and slid out of his hakama, while pushing me into the bed, nude thighs straddling my hips. He undid my hakama pleased with himself, he applied a generous amount of friction to my half-hard erection, pulling it free and observing it with much curiosity.

"Like what you see?" I teased him, moaning and lightly bucking my hips when he rebuked and stroked my erection rather roughly, thumbing the underside of the heated flesh. He was concentrating on pleasuring my erection, his fingers skittered, jerked, pumped my weeping erection, marveling at the pre-cum that had collected at the tip. Removing his hand from my erection, he took three fingers into his mouth and sucked them lightly humming to himself with mild amusement. Supporting himself by leaning his weight fully on me, ulquiorra shoved all three fingers inside of himself, his eyes teared up a bit but never did the tears fall. Engrossed in the sight of ulquiorra fingering himself, i let out an eager groan as i realized what his intentions where. Deeming himself fully prepared, Ulquiorra positioned himself above grimmjow's erection, before lowering himself completely.

And that was when it happened. The serum that for so long obstructed my clear thinking finally wore off. And both of us stared wide eyed at each other, both of our actions ceased. My mind went blank, the feeling of being inside ulquiorra's tight hole was overwhelming, slowly i started to thrust into him. Ulquiorra's eyes rolled back as he tried to stifle moans. Both of us where far to aroused to care about the haze before hand.

"I-nnh Fucking hate you ah.." I hated myself for letting out the moans like i did. I knew i would regret waking up in the morning but for now, I would enjoy the raw pleasure coursing through my veins.

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**Me: And its done. The chapter. well i would get this beta'd but im to eager to post this to even bother. so here it is. the second chapter. tell me what you guys think... im writing this in the hospital waiting room, there's a family tragedy going on right now so i am sorry for any mistakes. i hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations.**

**Grimmjow: DAMNITT! you always ALWAYS cut off at the good points... phooey...**


	3. The Deal

**Me: Well I will be considering editing chapter three but until i get to that i am going to be writing the third chapter. Thank you guys for all of the positive feedback i have gotten, i really appreciate it. I hope you guys very much so enjoy this chapter, i am going to work hard on making it kick ass for you all!**

**Ulquiorra: MyDoll as much as she wishes does not own bleach in any way shape or form.**

**Grimmjow: Of course, He always gets to say the disclaimer. -mutters-**

**Me: Here catnip, go fetch. -throws catnip-**

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**Paring: Ulquiorra X Grimmjow**

**Rating: Mature, ye be warned all who read past this.**

**Starting song: The Horror of Our Love by Ludo (look it up i demand!)**

**Ending song: Poison by Alice Cooper**

"**I'm jealous of every person who has ever hugged you, because for that one moment they held my entire world. Tears are like kisses, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back never make someone your everything, because when they are gone you have nothing. You will never know true pain until you look into the eyes of someone you love, and they look away The scars are nothing compared to the pain that put them there goodbye is only painful when you know you can never Say hello again How can you learn from your mistakes when mistakes are all you've ever made What's the point in living when the ones you love the most refuse to love you break my heart And tell me lies, because eventually every heart dies" -Michelle Mace**

"**Humans will kill each other... And when the last one stands among the corpses of his brothers... It is then that he will beg for death. Humans will curse their friends...Till he has no more... And in the end he'll realize... He's all alone. Humanity will kill for riches... And then kill one another. By the time man realizes he cannot eat money... They will begin to eat each other. Have not pity. They are but animals. Killing the planet. And destroying their souls." -Rooster**

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Curling his toes, arching into my rough calloused hands that held his hips down, thumbs tracing the skin there. Head rolled back, sweat droplets rolled freely down his forward, over his lips in which he was fiercely biting, keeping himself from moaning loudly. My thrusts where slow, rough but slow, allowing him to feel everything as my shaft plunged deep into his warmth that sucked me in, plunging into that bundle of nerves that caused him to let out hushed mewls of pleasure through tightly clenched teeth. Soft pink dusted his cheek in the heat of the moment, his raven hair splayed around him, artfully countering his pale face. Oh how my own thoughts plagued me deeply; he was beautiful. I wouldn't deny it, till later at least. My nails dug painfully hard into his milky hips as my thrusts hit that bundle of his.

" I hnnn hate your-ah! guts, I hate you." My breathing increased my thoughts where jumbled, i was holding onto the only thing my mind comprehended at the moment, hate. My cock pulsated, twitching slightly. Hate. It fueled all of my actions.

" Ahh, i k-know" He struggled with his words, his pleasure wracked brain refused to work correctly, "Harder..." He whispered huskily, not caring at the moment, and gods I didn't blame him, I had never been this hard for any one, the pleasure was so intense I felt myself pulsate deep within his tight heat, I lacked rationalism as I complied with his words thrusting faster and harder into his heat.

Trailing one of my hands over his belly, my hand traveled to his weeping cock, leaking with pre-cum, the shaft was hard, long, the tip beautifully flushed a rosy color, Veins slightly engorged peeking out of the skin, the blood pumping swiftly through the organ felt bizarre against my palm at work, my hand quick with its work, wrapping completely around the base and twisting upward effectively jerking him off. His eyes grew wide flying open as he let out a throaty growl like moan that reverberated through his chest that was practically fused tight with my own. His hands grasped by back, nails digging hard into by shoulder blades creating crescent moon marks that oozed with small amounts of blood.

"I hate ahh you!" I nearly growled, My hand increased its pace, as my hips ground down into ulquiorra, my thick shaft hitting his prostate dead on, moaning loudly he threw his head back brokenly breathing as his intense orgasm ripped through every fiber in his being, his eyes rolling back as he called out my name, his hot seed coming out in spurts, as my hand milked him of his orgasm, my ears rang. Thrusting myself further into that delicious heat my eyes scrunched shut, my orgasm completely taking over my senses bitting my lip i let out a suppressed groan, as the white hot pleasure of an orgasm wracked my already scrambled brain. I spurted deep into the fourth espada, filling him to the brim, he let out a shaky moan at the feeling of being filled in his after glow. The pleasure was incredible as i thrust a few more times before pulling out with a pop, cum leaking out of the tip slightly. I sat on my knees fisting my fingers into my hair, softly moaning in the after pleasure i was experiencing. It happened. Again, almost as if fate was smirking in our faces.

"Damnitt... why?" As if to answer me ulquiorra sat up peering into my eyes, His eyes still glazed over.

"... You realize that that was-"

I cut him off by smashing our lips together. "Don't say it, i know what we've done three times already" Pushing him back into the bed roughly i kept eye contact with him. "If i knew why this kept happening i would let you know but i don't" I growled " Your in my mind constantly, its like you won't leave my thoughts wherever I am. You piss me off."

" I know." He muttered simply, his breathing was now under control his cheeks normal color, his static expression re-appeared, mocking me. "Our bodies are connected to each other this is obviously going to continue if we don't address this issue now." He shifted slightly putting his hand to my chest, "These actions don't have to involve the heart, but simply for the pleasure of doing it."

My eyes widened slightly, what he was saying made sense, if our bodies where going to crave this beautiful friction that occurred between the two of us, there was no way to stop it, however if all feelings where void from the situation, the thirst for each other could be quenched while still remaining at a safe distance. And maybe eventually my own burning hatred for the man below me would die out, enabling me to think straight everyday without the fourth haunting me. It was the ideal solution, the only downside to this was that my masochistic side would not be fed, my burning passion for violence made me reconsider the offer.

"Once a month." I didn't give him the chance to agree or disagree before getting up to fish for my clothes. Nor did I care whether he agreed to this or not, my mind was made up. I clothed myself and waisted no time in removing myself from his room. The air was cold in las noches, artificial moonlight illuminated my tanned skin as my stalk feet carried me wherever they wanted to, aimlessly walking the halls. I didn't want to give my now clear head time to think this through in fear of my rational side refusing the genius plan that was formed. I needed rest before i collapsed of exhaustion.

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Ulquiorra reveled in the way the knife split apart his skin, allowing thick blood droplets to spill over the cut and onto the floor, he raised the knife again and sharply cut at his wrist, shuddering as he felt a wave of sick pleasure rush through his veins. he hadn't felt enough of what he wanted earlier, the first time grimmjow took him by force, he felt alive, and after the initial shock of the whole matter he found that he rather liked the way his insides felt when they where pushed apart and completely torn and abused, he felt alive. It was sick proof for him that he was living, breathing, that he wasn't just a waist of an existence. He wanted to feel the pleasure of pain coursing through his veins again, it wasn't enough, and it never was. He brought the blade hard again down on his other wrist digging at it, rolling his head back as he lost himself in the pleasure of pain, he didn't care how wicked or twisted what he was doing now was, he wanted it, and he would make sure that grimmjow knew that because he didn't want emotional ties to the man, he wanted bodily pleasurable connections with him. Drawn out moans escaped his lips, he lost himself, violently hacking away at the flesh hat he could reach any where on his body.

Pain was something he was void of. All that came from the hacks that splayed his rosy blood everywhere was that shuddering pleasure that he lost himself in, reaching a pale hand to his erection he slowly pumped himself his palm running along the slit of his erection while his other hand held a knife to his stomach cutting deep lines across his stomach as he jerked himself off. Slowly he lowered himself to the bed, laying on his back his breathing hitched as he felt some of his skin start to heal already, damn his heiro he cursed silently. Thumb running slowly over his slit it collected pre-cum that slicked his fingers movements as he desperately jerked himself hard, he needed release and he needed it now, the fire in the pit of his stomach was causing his rational side to be pushed away, he wanted to feel the intense pleasure of a self-induced orgasm wrack his senses dragging him to completion. His breathing was uneven chest heaving up and downwards on his sheets, blood and sweat mingling with one another as they cascaded over the deep gashes and onto the black sheets below his lithe form.

Legs quivering and his hand working feverishly on completing himself his back arched high off of the bed his lips quivering with desperate hushed moans. A single name the only thing that danced upon his tongue.

"Grimm-ahhh grimmjow" Ulquiorra's mismatched lips repeated grimmjow's name through the pleasurable pain induced haze. Heavy blood flow pumped through his own organ as he felt himself teetering closer and closer to his completion. With a loud moan that rumbled through ulquiorra's chest, and high arch of the ebony haired males back, he came hard, semen spurting onto his hand and some even making its way onto his stomach. The pain of his skin healing together rather rapidly from its earlier abuse and the knife that he had plunged deep with in himself pushed him over the edge completely. The heated coil in his stomach slowly un-raveled as his seed came out in spurts, he milked himself to completion as he felt each wave of intense pleasure slowly die out, some of the substance already cooling o his stomach. Ulquiorra lay still as he rode out the intense orgasm, digging the knife out of himself and flinging it into the wall, he slowly rode down from his after glow high. Maybe this was what the blue haired espada felt, every time he crunched some ones skull, or drew blood from someone in a bloody fray, because he felt alive and in control. It all made perfect sense.

And he scowled t himself, for not realizing how dead he felt, pain and pleasure was the answer to everything he thought to himself. How could he not have seen this earlier. The hot pleasure of an intense orgasm was the best solution to any of his frustrations. Yes indeed he was twisted and emotionless, but he now had something to cure the itch. One month he had to wait. And he was perfectly fine with waiting. Curling his toe's into the black sheets below himself, ulquiorra slipped his eyes shut, slowly regaining his breathing.

He would wait, rather impatiently, but he would wait. For his dose of pleasurable poison, next month.

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**Me: ok so this chapter was the hardest/ funniest one to write because once i had my muse back for this it was so easy to write. Sorry for the late update i have stuff going on, and the shirt chapter lol. But wait! i am looking for someone willing to write the companion piece to this with ulquiorra's point of view and snippets of grimmjow's view like i did here with ulqui in this chapter. Did that make sense lol? Well contact me if you are interested. Thank you for those that have reviewed!**

**Grimmjow: Ulqui O.O i had no idea you where like this -scoots away from him-**

**Ulquiorra: -snicker- We now have an official plot!**

**Me: oh yes i forgot to mention lol i have changed the plot of this, its going to be a dark one my lovelies so strap yourself in for a dark roller coaster ride with occasional fluff lol. . thanks again you guys are awesome.**


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